First, you’re in it, then you’re out of it. Your heart went from melting like a wax candle to becoming hard as a rock with bird droppings all over it.
That red hair was like a unicorn running through a forest of broken promises and unread text messages.
That toothpaste commercial smile, those red freckles that reminded me of my childhood bully, but turned out sharing their bologna sandwich with me, that infectious laugh that was like a disease that went away after three days of antibiotics. Ugh. It’s painful, man. I needed a cure for this Orange Crush and who knew? All it took was a little heat to get my heart back in the game.
- Not gonna lie, I hit those boxes of Girl Scout Cookies after I was ginger-ghosted. I must have gained about 10 pounds. I discovered that adding hot sauce to my food (tacos, not thin mints) can help burn calories and boost your metabolism. In addition to gym time, long walks on the road to heartache, and dousing everything in hot sauce, I was able to slim down to my BG weight (Before Ginger) and get myself back on Bumble.
- Hot sauce is a mood booster. Its main compound is capsaicin which is what makes the sauce spicy. Capsaicin signals your body to produce endorphins in an effort to block the heat, making you feel elated and euphoric. This helps when you’re crying into your body pillow, thinking about your ginger crush and the times you used to fight over which Netflix show to binge and not chill over.
- Even though my heart was broken and shattered into a million pieces like Johnny Manziel’s career, it didn’t kill me. In fact, my new found love for hot sauce has made my heart stronger. Chili peppers, the main ingredient in hot sauce, can actually help protect you from a heart attack and stroke by keeping your blood pressure regulated and your blood vessels relaxed.
My go-to hot sauce was coincidentally Mad Dog 357 Pure Ghost Hot Sauce It is a forget-your-ex blend of fresh habanero peppers, ghost pepper, garlic, onion, and 160,000 Scoville unit cayenne pepper. Drowning my food in this fearfully hot sauce was a metaphor for drowning in my feelings. Pure Ghost was like therapy in a bottle and between my Ginger Lover and the Tacos - the tacos won.