Bring Hot Sauce on Your Next Cruise

If there’s one thing you should take with you on a cruise, it’s hot sauce.

Okay, there’s one thing you should pack if you’re planning to work on cruise ships – hot sauce.

Actually, there are a few things, but we’ll get to that.

And, we’re hardly suggesting that you shouldn’t pack hot sauce if you’re going on a cruise for vacation. You probably should pack some serious fire with your favorite bottle of Mad Dog hot sauce. Because, erm, don’t you take one with you everywhere?

In a new book, Chronicles of a Cruise Ship Worker by James Kinser who spent many years as a cruise ship employee, the author explains that hot sauce is a critical tool for anyone working aboard a ship. It’s simply necessary to deal with the food employees are served; without it, the food is bland at best. And, we’re not even interested in what at worst would be.

We’re assuming that the food served to guests is palatable, but you’re probably not going to get the kind of burn you want without the serious Mad Dog fire tucked inside your pockets (or, hey, on a key ring á la our new Pain on a Chain pepper powders). If you’re a serious chili-head, you’re going to need to prepare yourself accordingly.

Now, if you’re working on a cruise ship, you’ll need to pack your favorite hot sauce (or, may we say a few bottles?) and a condom (or, may we say a few condoms?). That’s because all the hot sauce everyone’s chowing below deck is clearly an aphrodisiac.

According to Kinser, infidelity is rampant among cruise ship employees. That’s, of course, the worst scenario; the best, in this case, is that all that sex is among single or monogamous consulting adults. Seriously, there’s a whole lot of relations going on below deck. And, we just have to believe it’s due to all that hot sauce.

Either way, it seems like a good idea to bring some hot sauce with you on a cruise, don’t you think?

Going on a cruise anytime soon?

Whether you’re sunning yourself during the day and sleeping in large suites at night or you’re slumming it in the crew mess halls, you’re going to need some Mad Dog to get you through it.

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