It seemed like a good idea to go out every night for the last month when you were in the groove.
Now you’re broke and you’ve got major tests ahead of you.
Believe it or not, we’ve been there. Everyone has.
You could panic. But, you’re not that kind of a guy, are you? We imagine you’re a roll-with-the-punches sort of guy. And these, in case you haven’t noticed, are the punches.
That’s why we’re going to get to the point quickly; you need whatever time you have left to shove as much knowledge into your memory as possible.
Listen, we’re not pretending you’ll retain that information any longer than the exam. And, we can’t even promise you that. What we can help with is a little stamina to make your cram session slightly fun and it’ll definitely keep you awake.
Here’s what you do. Grab a bottle of Mad Dog Hot Sauce. You know… something super strong, perhaps the Ghost Pepper or the Scorpion. Now, take a toothpick and rub it on the inside of the bottle. Insert the toothpick in your mouth while you frantically search for any dairy you have stuffed in the fridge.
Dairy or not, remember to tell yourself that you’re not on fire; your brain only thinks you are. And then think that maybe you can also fool your brain into retaining some of the information you need.
While you’re doing that, get set up for a major study session. You know, bring out everything you need and switch off any distractions.
By the time you’ve managed this through the tears, the pacing, the hiccups, the mental notes to always, always have some dairy on hand, your brain will begin releasing endorphins. This is way better than coffee; your body is sending the signals to keep you awake, not caffeine.
At this point, study like your life depends on it.
When you start fading, you know what to do. Just keep popping those toothpicks of Mad Dog and you’ll be just fine. And, next time you’ve got a major test, spend some time prepping for it in advance. Mad Dog is way more magical when you don’t have to study through it.
While it’s good for keeping your awake, it’s even better for making food taste like it should. Well, that and setting your mouth on fire. Or, your roommate’s mouth. Or, well. Geez, you really need to get back to studying.