Oh, it’s so hard being basic - like getting to Starbucks the first day they release the Pumpkin Spice Latte is so exhausting.
Also putting hot sauce on nachos and tacos as they told us in “Being a Basic Human” school.
Stop being Basic! Why we as humans may have a long way to go to divert from conformity, take baby steps and try dousing hot sauce on some of your favorite foods - you know the foods you would never think to put hot sauce on.
Here are some ideas to help you live a more fulfilled life:
Salads - while this isn’t too crazy, it’s just enough to make someone take a double-take at the salad bar and think “wow, that person is a little out there” … but not too out there. If you are a little nervous, try mixing it in with your salad dressing. Baby steps, people!
Bagel with Cream Cheese - turn this innocent pairing into a crime scene by splattering hot sauce all over it.
Cottage Cheese - maybe the majority of the world would like this stuff if it had a huge heaping of hot sauce on it.
Peanut Butter and Celery - yep we just kicked that boring after-school-but-now-I’m-a-grown up-and-still-eat-this-crap snack up a notch or two!
Grilled Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwich - um, no comment, just try this masterpiece. Beer - because you’re basically adding hot sauce on wheat bread and it’s delicious
Oatmeal - this mushy breakfast needs to dance on the dark side and hot sauce is just the evil best friend to show it their badass moves.
Apples - An apple a day keeps the doctor away AND if you add hot sauce on these apples you might get a date with the doctor too!
Hot Chocolate - yes you’re a wuss if you drink Hot Chocolate plain - hello, you’re not 8 years old anymore! BUT…if you add a dash of habanero sauce then you just became NOT BASIC! Congratulations on your achievement.
We’ve given you some great advice on pushing the limit of your hot sauce game. Soon you’ll be sprinkling ghost pepper sauce on your ice cream and skydiving out of airplanes wearing just your smile - you insanely un-basic person you.
