But were afraid to find out
Yes, some people are freaked out by hot sauce. It’s hard to believe when you’re a chili head. After all, who doesn’t love that intense burn? The stinging pain? The sweet rush of tears?
If you happen to be one of those folks who just can’t get on board with the hot sauce craze, here’s what you always wanted to know about super hot sauces.
1. You Really Do Want to Wear Gloves
The stuff they leave on the tables in restaurants, that’s not real hot sauce, mmkay - and you don’t need to take any special precautions when dealing with it. Sure, you don’t want to be waving it about when there are young children around, but most people can handle that shit when it touches their skin accidentally.
Serious hot sauce, on the other hand, requires some prevention. If gloves are suggested, just do it; there’s no need to play hero here. Otherwise, you’re going to find yourself in a world of trouble when you need to pee.
2. Hot Sauce Doesn’t Cause Ulcers
For sure, it feels like it’s burning a hole in your mouth. How could it not be doing damage to your stomach as it churns to break down that fiery goodness?
It’s not; get over it. In fact, chili peppers (and therefore hot sauces) can prevent certain types of ulcers. Actually, the active ingredient - capsaicin - is part of hundreds of cancer cure studies. And don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
But listen, if you already have an ulcer, you probably should consult a doctor about your diet. We’re not doctors; we craft incredible hot sauces.
3. Pepper Spray Does Relate to Super Hot Sauces
You kinda knew it, didn’t you? You just never bothered to research it. But, the stuff that makes your eyes feel like they’re bleeding is, at the core, the same stuff found in chili peppers and hot sauces. It’s called capsaicin, and it makes you feel as though you’re on fire.
You’re not on fire. There’s no hole burning in your mouth, your stomach, or, in this case, your eyes. Capsaicin simply triggers the same pain receptors that fire does. But, it’s not real.
4. There Is Such a Thing as Ring Sting
Following directly on from that, you should know that those pain receptors are found in the mucus membranes of your body. That’s your mouth, your nose, just under your skin, and those areas your body naturally lubricate.
Those sensors aren’t readily found in your stomach because you’re already a goner if fire has reached that point of your body. But you will experience the burn again on the way out. Well, many people do; if you’re one of the lucky ones, it probably means you suffer from hemorrhoids or similar issues.
5. Hot Sauce Gets You High
In case you’re wondering why the hell anyone would put themselves through morning-after ring sting, there is a reason. Super hot sauces get you high. Again, your run-of-the-mill, garden-variety hot sauce isn’t going to create an effect. But, super hot sauces will.
The high is totally natural; it’s the result of an endorphins rush dispensed by your brain to help you cope with the pain of the fire it believes you’re eating. It’s totally addictive and a hell of a lot easier than running a few miles to trigger the same sort of release. And, when you’re really knocked over by a super hot sauce, the high is even better.
So, what are you waiting for? It’s time to live life to it's hottest - ring sting and all.